Hey‘Streamers,

I know it’s been awhile..time for an update. 

First and foremost, thank you to all that have checked in, supported, rallied, put in their two cents, etc.  I've appreciated all of your comments very much, and although I may not have responded, please know that I was coming around to read you guys when I could, and was touched by what you all had to say.  I also noticed these past 6-7 weeks have been fairly active around here, to say the least!  Wow!

I have moved into an apartment only about seven minutes from where I used to live.  My soon to be ex and I have remained amicable, we get along better now than we have in years.  I believe both of us are trying very hard to keep things as “normal” for the boys as possible, under the circumstances.

The things that made me crazy are still here, though, but now I don’t have to worry about it any more.  He feels the same about me.

I am at the house every workday, and every school day when it in session

  The boys have been to my place and like it, but the apt. was in such disarray for so long that Alec said once “it’s nice, but it doesn’t feel like home.”  Well, it didn’t to me either for a while.  It’s taking forever to get settled in, and I am starting from scratch.  I’m buying my own furniture, my own dishes, my own “stuff” in general.  I did take a dresser and an armoire, from the house, and Chris has things he’s let me take over, as he’s not using it right now.  So it’s very slowly coming together.  The boy’s room is finally done, just needs tweaking.  It looks good, if I do say so myself.

Between Chris and a friend of mine I’ve been able to cobble together a computer, now I just need a landline.  I hope to have one later today.  I am using the computer at the house when I can, but I can’t count on being able to do that forever.

These past weeks have been extremely busy, but I have to say I am content, even happy.  There are days that I have to tone it down, my happiness, because it’s a bit unseemly to be acting giddy during such a somber time.  My soon to be ex is nowhere near as happy, just resigned, and relieved?  I see him taking on the responsibilities that I used to carry here and he is doing ok, albeit surprised at how much there really IS to running a household.  Hmmm.

I know this is only the beginning, and there are sure to be even rougher roads ahead.  But my boys, at least for now, can see that their world is not falling apart. Cid and I are not able to live together as husband and wife, but we seem to be building some sort of friendship, at least.  This can only be good for the boys.

I feel like I can breathe again.  I no longer feel smothered, or buried under the pressures of catering to a lifestyle and a marriage that swallowed me up.  A bit dramatic, but I am no longer depressed. I no longer have fight to be me, to live as I want.  Marriage is compromise, true, but not to the point you lose yourself in the bargain.  I am even busier as I’ve ever been, but yet I feel like I am walking on air.  It’s effortless-well, as long as I’m getting enough sleep.  I am still on Mids, and I do have to watch that!

Well, that‘s all for now.  I hope to touch base again, soon, and maybe this time with my own computer!  See you all soon.

Love, Kelly